This isn't a normal blog...

Life gets kinda chaotic around here... so don't expect regular posts. This blog is a gradual collection of hints, tips, and anecdotes about how we live life with one son who has autism, one daughter who is "typical", one son who is profoundly disabled and medically fragile, and one daughter with borderline delays and unclear medical complications. When life gets crazy, I won't post...but when things slow down (or I'm sitting in the hospital for a few days twiddling my thumbs) I'll add more posts about things we do to live a fun and joyful life...to the best of our abilities.


Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Potty Training

Naomi is finally potty training!  She's more than 3.5 years old, but until yesterday, she had NO desire to potty train.  Sure, she'd sit and claim she had done something, but, well, the language and comprehension skills just aren't reliable yet.  I'm a big advocate of waiting to train until the child wants to train, so yesterday when she started stripping and running to the bathroom every twenty minutes, I was pretty excited.  FINALLY!!

Here's the thing- she's my fourth child, and I've never really potty trained any of the kids before.



Yeah, you read that right.  Hyrum was five when he was trained, and he was trained at preschool by a fantastic guy named Monty with a PhD in Childhood Development.  More on that later.  Hannah was three when she trained, and she essentially trained herself by watching her big brother practice his new potty skills at home.  I kept her in diapers for a few more months (until the holidays were over), then one day asked if she wanted to use the potty like Hyrum.  She had wanted to try for quite some time, and so that day she switched to underwear and never looked back.  Nate won't ever potty train.  So, now I've got Naomi rarin' to go, and I'm trying to remember just how Monty described the process!!

When Hyrum was five, he was fortunate enough to be referred to a fantastic developmental therapy preschool called Ready, Set, Go.  They provided 30 hours of developmental therapy a week in a preschool setting that was next door to regular daycare/preschool classes.  They did ABA and all sorts of training/therapy/etc. with kids with autism, fragile x, downs, etc.  It was AMAZING!!!  We lived an hour away, and gas prices were at historic highs (think 2008ish), so I would load the kids up in the morning, drive an hour, drop him off, and spend the next six hours killing time at parks, the library, and wandering stores with Hannah (then age 2).  Oh, and I was pregnant with Nate!  It was a wild year, and Hyrum had class 358 days a year, and Nate was born halfway through, so after we left the hospital I also had a medically fragile newborn in tow...yeah, it was a crazy year.  BUT TOTALLY WORTH IT.  Hyrum was barely speaking two-word phrases when we began.  He was ready for kindergarten (with a para) when we left.

Back to potty training.  Monty and Lena (two amazing angels on earth, I tell ya) told us to not train Hyrum at all.  They didn't want him to hate the potty when they started training.  I was happy to comply- Hyrum showed absolutely no comprehension or interest, and I was exhausted (autism+toddler+pregnant, remember?).  They set aside one week just to train Hyrum, and Monty spent the entire week, six hours a day, doing nothing but potty training 101 with my boy.  I was supposed to just diaper as usual at home until they were all done, then they would train me to use the same cues and rewards at home.

I don't remember the specific cues and rewards (they were tailor-fit to each kid's interests, so it's nothing magical), but I remember the process.  Day 1- Hyrum in just a shirt, Monty sitting on the cold tile floor, in the bathroom (door open of course) the whole day.  Monty had a cooler full of popsicles, juice, milk, jello, a bunch of fancy cups and straws, etc.  And a box full of activities to keep Hyrum in the bathroom.  They never left.  Hyrum drank and drank and drank and every time he started to pee, he was led to the potty to finish there.  Then praise and reward with yet another liquid treat (probably the popsicles).  Once Hyrum was running to the potty to pee and get another prize, he was on his way!  Day 2 or 3- Once Hyrum consistently waited until he got to the potty, they moved to the hallway just outside the bathroom.  He had to sit and play right where he could still see the toilet, but the toys and rewards kept him in place and he sure loved all of the praise and treats!  Day 4 and 5- When Hyrum showed that he could stop what he was doing and look around for the potty, they moved down the hall a few feet, so the potty was nearby but not directly in sight.  By the next week, they were back in the classroom with a timer to try to potty every 20 minutes or so.  The rewards and praise were the same, but he could rejoin the classroom. And Monty was no longer chained to Hyrum's side- he had done the tedious work and the other teachers could take it from there.  Once Hyrum was regularly using the potty at school (probably another week or two) they gave the go-ahead to work on the potty at home, and Hyrum transitioned really quite well!  (It helps that Hyrum has a really big bladder- all of my kids do.)

So, today, Naomi is wearing a big towel bib to keep warm, sitting on the potty, watching Little Einsteins on the iPad, and sipping away at the crazy-expensive but yummy V8 juice she helped pick out herself at the store.  She peed on the potty for the very first time as I typed this!!  I forgot to reward her with a popsicle however- I wanted to finish typing.  Next time, however, she'll get it.  I can't spend all day in the bathroom with her, but I hope that 3-4 hours each afternoon after preschool (before the others get home) will get us well on our way...wish us luck!

Update:  Umm....well...life happened.  I wasn't able to devote enough 1 on 1 time to do this method.  So we started, then got sick, then tried again, then got sicker (Nate in hospital), then tried again, then I had my surgery and couldn't lift for two months...anyway, Naomi wasn't fully trained until the following spring, around her fourth birthday.  And she still needs diapers at night or on trips.  But...well...life happens!  We're moving forward.

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